I'm refraining from a lot of internet access. I'll be back sometimes.

Once Misa and I start cosplaying I'm moving to another page so and starting fresh. We still don't know who to cosplay as but I got a pretty okay list so far.

- Larsa ff12
- rukia bleach
- akito or something fruits basket
-Alucard from hellsing


I don't know but I wanted to be a boy other than larsa in something. I was looking forward to trying bandaging...


Anyone has any idea what I might good for? Anyone that knows me of course.
I sure as hell am going to get the ax for this. Nevertheless after using so much of my brain I should be able to relax and lose myself in another person's fantasy- it's pointless, unhealthy, and a waste of time. However, it should be fun. There is one part of my child hood which I can retain dressing up with my friends. It's nothing about liking the characters so much it's more about wanting to gain something.

Great update. I'm publishing a crappy comic of mine. It won't be out in public of course just for a small variety of people. Whom ever can get their hands on the summer collection for SVA's student comics. Wish me luck people.

All my life has been a lie. Was I keeping the one I love in the shadow? I might have- I noticed many times but I ignored it. Change can be seen in their face and it pains me. I failed as the catcher in the rye. I failed miserably. I don't retain their love- and I doubt I'm still in their memories...
When I said goodbye I cut the chain- what I unleashed was someone's happiness- meaning I had kept them in sorrow-
I might act harsh but in truth I'm not a sadist- I wanted to help them flourished- I failed them that means I failed myself- my missions and my promise- the innocence of love- the intimacy of youth's innocence in the ascendance to adolescence- I failed to hold on. I wish I was as strong as Bartleby- to prefer not to do anything.
My aching heart brings so much happiness to many but I don't care- I lay down my pride to pick up my weeping soul- Please don't laugh clichés are clichés for a reason-

I wish this person knew that I spoke with ignorance before and everyday I regret that I can't hold them close. I know I have to grow up but I can't forget my memories. What would I give to cry by the side of my bitter love once more.
Do not associate love with sexual things- Love to me is enough comfort to be able to close my eyes with them and cry at their side. In my dictionary love is not lust but something emotional that inspires the greatest of loyalties- love is being able to keep a promise- everyday I'm tormented that I didn't keep my promise... Laugh now I understand what I mean. I'm useless for expressing the sentiments everyone else has ever expressed. Call me emotive but it doesn't matter to me. I'm not accustomed to following fads but catigorize me as you will. Reader you too will feel the sting of a lost friend. You too will cry when you recall a dear memory or when you notice you have made a life changing mistake. Even though you have no blood on your hands one day you too will feel like a muderer...

Now I try to accustome myself to those around me. My new friends or friend is sweet and very much like myself. I enjoy her submission and discrete lust for power but she isn't that or those persons I cannot forget. I don't believe she will come to hold me as well as that person did. My heart was always in that person's well being. I've just to many scars of the past to accept another person- as I grow the only person I feel I will truly love is my own flesh and blood- hopefully a son who I will hold and protect... Once he defies me I shall die remembering the better days when I was dominant. Maybe I will not have an heir or even the next best thing- a partner who I'll value sexually and emotionally because of my way- I'm not odd. That's not what I imply. If I am I'm not proud of my difference.

Overall this is bad writing which only a few can understand because of the many digressions.

A DORK! I'M A TOTAL DORK AND SO ARE A WHOLE BUNCH OF PEOPLE.
Look, ladies and germs. I REALLY WANNA DRESS UP.
I want to cosplay because I see it as a challenge. I want to cosplay as people I can look like. I'm not trying to pull off Reno or ANYOTHER impossible character.
I need characters for my list. So far they've pitched:
.Larsa from FF12
.Rukia from Bleach

and that's it for now. I'm in dire need of characters- the Rukia competition is tight so I doubt I'll be doing that. Woot there is nothing to hate on me but you can still suck it BITCHES! (I was being really insecure and embarassed there. I'm embarassed that I want to do this... I'm such a hypocrite but urges must be pleased when they can be. It's more of a private thing with friends. People know about it but no one will actually witness this saddness for too long)

I'm going to be a chimeny sweep. I'm going to try and be bummy yet sofis. Does anyone know where I can get a top hat? I really need one. And I need a scarf...